


To see you once more

by Swampy_squid



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Other, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-05-07 20:15:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14678691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swampy_squid/pseuds/Swampy_squid
Summary: You can break my soulTake my heart awayBeat meHurt meBut for the love of GodDon't hurtHim





	1. Chapter 1

Space was something so wonderful. Yet held so many secrets. To think just some kids would be sucked into it was without a don't wrong. 

Keith knew of the missing feeling. He got along with everyone there as he liked to believe. Allura mentioned it to him. He caught her without sleep one day and she told him. The feeling of missing someone lingered. 

Now Keith being rational thought she meant her home, home life back with a family. But it wasn't long before he felt it to. 

"Well are we going to talk about the elephant in the room or what?" Pidge asked all knowing exactly what she meant. 

 

"Well Allura should know she's been here since the very beginning. The very first paladins. " Hunk admitted looking at Allura. 

"I beg your pardon? Yes I have been here since the Lions were made. Yes I was around but no. I do not recall any other paladins. When the blue lip told me about the previous generations I couldn't believe it. How many exactly did they get. Who were they and where had they come from"

Keith bit his lip. "Have you guys um had heartache due to this missing person?" He asked out of no where making the rest look at him. 

"No. The most I feel like I should miss is a tune. Everytime I feel like remembering it the tune calms my nerves. " Shiro admitted. But the rest never said they had felt the way Keith did 

And then Pidge began giggling. "Oooh sounds like this missing person is Keith's C-R-U-S-H " Pidge mocked wiggling her eyebrows, making Keith choke on air. 

"Don't be rediculous that's not possible." Keith denied. Love? Hah that's stupid he's never loved anyone romantically. Not something he was ever aware of. 

"He's denying it! We have to find them!" Pidge said exited. Not only will she feel complete again but making Keith embarrassed was just a funny sight to see from mister lone wolf. 

"But that's already hard enough the Lions haven't said they were of earth origins. Who's to say they even are there now? " Coran asked. 

Pidge bit her lip. But it wasnt long before the alarm erupted their conversation. "Guess we are called to an emergency. Let's talk about this later paladins" Allura said standing up and rushing to the control room 


	2. Written in the sky.

Keith knew the sickening feeling in his gut. It was that longing. And it made him not being able to sleep. His mind was racing and it felt like he was trapped. 

Keith stepped out of his room looking left to right before heading out somewhere he felt like he should know. There was a boearded up locked door. In neat handwriting was the words. Keep out. 

But who was he to listen as he tore threw the wires and cheap metal and entered the room. Dust collected here and there. But the things remained...the same? He couldn't quite understand it. He couldn't comprehend why he felt they were in the proper spot before he looked ahead. Small stars sparkled but they hand been attached to the wall. "XXXXX?" he could recognized the name he called out.

Suddenly it felt as if his wind was knocked out hearing the faintest of whispers behind him. Turning around he noticed the door has been locked once more. 

"He's not suppose to be here"

"He's the child of the mother of stars!" 

"He's not proper" 

"Get your head in the game" 

"Sorry to say but you need to step up the game" 

"I don't love you"

Keith almost regretted the last. But what distracted that guilt was the sudden scream. Who ever he was looking at. Who ever it was was in pain. 

And Keith saw the small faintest blood trailed down the star speckled back of this person. "XXXXX!" Keith couldn't stop his body it charged at who ever this was ready to act to comfort this being. But as soon as he did star dust remained. 

"No.No! No XXXXX!" He screamed picking up the dust seeing how it fell from his fingers. 

 

Suddenly Keith woke up. 

"Keith are you alright?" Allura asked turning her attention to him. Panting Keith looked around before sighing. "Sorry just a nightmare" 

Allura hummed sadly "so sorry usually when I or anyone talks about the legend of the child of the stars people tend to get nightmares." Allura explained. "They say he doesn't want to be talked about I'm so sorry I should have-" 

"No no Allura it's ok it's fine. " But it wasnt fine. Keith was dying on the inside the pain of who ever that was stuck with him that scream. It hurt so much. 

"I'll head back to bed" he informed 

But that pain still lingered and he swore he could feel dust collected on his gloves 


	3. Help help the star is dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wowza what's this

Pidge was furious. She couldn't believe her ears.  We're they really called here out of an emergency for a star dying? "Allura how bout we bail stars die all the time" 

Allura gruffed she didn't see the emergency but it really did stress out a lot of people "no let's just see what this is all about maybe to them it's important" she reminded making Keith grunt in annoyence. 

He didn't like the idea of helping something that didn't seem like a big issue. But when the people kept quiding them.

The closer they got the sinking feeling came back. And then he felt tears. Tears he didn't feel like should be his. 

"Woah keith are you ok?" Shiro asked noticing Keith wipe his tears but noticed shiro had tears to. "Is there something in the air making us cry?" Keith asked but never got an answer. 

Then he saw it. Everyone had. Sure enough incased in a heated glass was a boy. Curled up in a fetal position. His eyes were closed his clothing curled around him. On his neck a chain with what looked like a star. 

"The child of the stars" Allura gasped looking around to see how to help him. Then she saw how it dipped in light. Fading and reapering once more. 

"How long has he been here?" Allur asked not daring to touch the star. "It's said he crashed here when he was fighting zarkon hand in hand. We do not know how long he's been here" the people said

"but we bring him offerings and food. Which he has taken but for what ever reason he's been he's been dying" 

Pidge furrowed her brows. So this is what they meant she thought. As she looked at the boy.

His brown skin having a faint glow to it. Maybe due to the star itself. And then she turned slightly seeing Keith go and try and touch it. 

"Keith no!" Pidge yelled but it didn't stop Keith. 

 

"We'll be together again" Keith mumbled out before he was blown to the wall along side the others. 

The shinning light blinding them for a bit before it dimmed. And they looked. Star dust lingered. As they watched who ever this was stretch and Land on his feet.

His clothes flowing out before his eyes dimmed down to normal looking eyes. he looked towards Keith and the rest smiling widely tears falling

 

"Thank God I was so tired of watching you dying" Keith ran catching who ever this was from falling hard on the floor.

He fainted but the lights and his breathing never stopped. Two rings around his head rotated two small stars. A blue one and a slightly red one. 

"Allura we have to get him to the castle" Keith demanded 


	4. Missing pieces are hard to find

Once the paladins we're all around the pod together did they start talking. This boy had the smallest freckles littering his back and face. Barely noticeable. Everything about him looked human but at the same time results showed otherwise. 

And when he woke up and fell the freckles shone like little stars. Out of instinct Keith had reached out to catch him. And in luck he had feeling the familiar warmth next to him. He grumbled before looking up at Keith a concerned look over his face. 

But it quickly faded once he looked at Keith. "Your alive. Your alive. All of you oh god your alive " he began to weep. "I know you don't remember. God why do I even care for you guys but you're back and alive" 

"Who are you?" Pidge asked the crying boy bringing him some tissues. "My name is Lance. I was a paladin long long ago" he said so sorrowfully so much pain in it like he was ashamed to be. 

"But I've been here from the first paladins how come I don't remember you?" Allura asked while Coran stood beside her. "We never wanted to disturb who ever you were. It might have been better if we had. " Lance responded

"Theirs so much I want to tell you but I can't." He responded standing up. "All I can say is that I'm so glad to be awake when you are alive. I hate waking up to see you all have died once more and reincarnated it's so hard to see those you grew with die" he said 

Coran came up bringing him a cup of water "I'm so sorry to hear my boy" Lance took it to his pleasure. Everyone was staring at him. "We should talk slowly about this, let's head off to eat maybe we could talk there" he responded once more. The rest agreeing. 

Keith not leaving Lance's side afraid to lose him. 

 

\---

"When I fought Zarkon it was intense. The battle the screams everything it was coming to me so quickly. It was so hard hearing to your pleas. I fought and fought but I guess stars end up falling sometimes." Lance recalled. 

"I lost a lot that day. My life my position. You guys , I lost a lot more to" he sighed looking as if he's about to cry. 

"What else did you lose?" Hunk asked carefully. 

"I lost my ch-" suddenly everyone was surprised at the sudden slap Lance gave himself across the mouth. Both hands clutching together to prevent him talking. 

"I lost my-" again it happened they watched how he struggled to removed a hand only to have it be covered once more. Tears struck down. 

"It's ok it's ok you don't have to say anything" shiro said trying his best to calm Lance down. And it worked. He didn't stop crying but he stopped covering his mouth. 

"I want to tell you so much but I can't" he said his voice breaking and breaking. To Keith he didn't like that so he gave him a gentle Pat to his back before completely hugging him. "I barely know you but this feels right" 

"That's a good thing" Pidge said "he's what we've been missing" she pipped up "the paradox is over we aren't feeling like we lost something it's finally solved. Who would have thought our souls would hang in for so long?" 

Lance chuckled wiping his tears. "Your just like I remember so-" he comvered his mouth again. "You remained the same" 

"Everyone here everything here. The Lions you guys. The war still here I'm glad to have it all back even if it is broken" 

 

He smiled. He still had a long way to go


	5. It's so hard to break what you put on me

Keith woken up again. This time not for the feeling of loss but instead the feeling of something else. Sorrow. So much of it. Walking around he saw Lance he was looking at the plans they had made before he began tampering. 

Keith saw it. A gallery of pictures and videos something he never saw before. Folder after folder it went. Until Lance stopped. There he was in most of them. With different people. 

"To think you came so long only to never succeed" Lance mumbled he even seems to want to touch the members all of different species. Well accept one who looked human. "I called you friends, you called me a punching bag" 

Keith looked as lance tapped on one video and it began playing. "Haha c'mon Lance it was fun in games" Keith saw Lance look up in shame laughing and chuckling but his face told a different story. 

"Could i learn to forgive you? I want to I really do, theirs a terror deep inside me" Lance grumbled coughing as he placed his hands on his chest. 

"I keep thinking of everything that's happened. I keep fearing. What if Zarkon comes after you all what if something bad happens" he plead on as the holograms of the last came on. He sighed. 

"Every life is precious in the universe" Lance sighed heading up to the galra one. His hands cupped their face smiling at it. "And that means you, I have to protect you. " 

Keith felt another pang of pain in his chest. "If you get hurt what would I do? I can't bear to see you all die again" he stopped making the holograms disappear. 

"Sometimes I wonder if he can see me though your eyes" Lance said staring at Keith now making Keith gulp stepping forward in shame. "I know it's you but it's also not you" Lance said stepping Infront of Keith. 

"So if you have his memories please let me speak to you once more" Keith couldn't understand what he meant it was all a jumble to him. 

 "Did they make you feel worthless?" Keith asked out of the blue. Lance stopped his bare feet laying restless on the floor as he turned around to look at Keith. "Very" 

"I'm so sorry." Keith added an apology close to his heart. 

"I want to understand what has happened. That battle I don't understand why you all followed if if you really did hate me so much." Lance mumbled turning his back again to Keith. 

"I want to understand what this is Lance. I really do" Keith stopped for a moment. Before sighing 

"I do to Keith. I do to"


	6. How can I talk with a command to follow

Lance had been quite. He didn't need to eat sure but he still came to the table. And when he was there it usually was so quite that no one knew what to say. Even with Lance here it still didn't feel right. 

 

Everything was just wrong. "So Lance would you care to tell us all how the battle went. Course if you need yet more time it's alright" Allura tried to pry a word off of him but he just nodded picking his food. 

 

"Need more time?" Keith asked. 

 

Lance nodded a no. 

 

"Well could you tell us?" 

 

"I-" like previous times he had slapped his mouth shut. This time Keith and Pidge tried to pry his hands off "i" again his strong grip pulled making his hands clap over his mouth as to prevent him from talking. 

 

But when hunk put his fork down and he saw the plate finished he stopped. "I had run away, the team didn't need me so I had ran. But in the hopes of saving you I thought so little of myself. A child of the stars was tough but not so much. Fighting with only my bare hands and raw power i was prone to lose. And I did" 

 

"He mocked me saying where my team was nowhere. That I was abandoned. No one wanted me. But when you guys showed he upper cut me. And there I had fallen into slumber" Lance cupped his hands over his neck 

"And in that slumber I could see through every star. I could see your souls but I could do nothing to save any of you "

 

He looked up to look at them all his eyes shifting into diamond shapes as he looked at each one "so please for the love of anything please let's never speak of this again I don't want to remember"


	7. Love me like you love the starry-eyed boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith hacks into files and goes through some secret memories

Keith saw how Lance went where he went every night he would try and learn the code and one night when he set Lance to bed he took action. 

It took him a while before he got it right and it entered files upon files of videos pictures memos and events. 

He scrolled and scrolled past many past paladins all of which matched what they were now. 

Keith kept looking through those before stopping Infront of a video. "So im the red paldin. I am uh. Lance could you cut that out I'm here doing a video" 

Lance pooped beside the alien and looked at the camera before fear was flashed in his eyes. He took a step back watching said alien stand up and growl menacingly at lance. 

It made Keith's heart drop. "Today my idiotic of a boyfriend actually did great today. He's been relatively quite. Learned today that if your soulbounded with his kind you get to comand each other.now I love my boyfriend and all but sometimes he's gotten on my nerves and when I learned a thing or two "

He watched lance's face morph to grief the sudden degrading was to much to bare as he went away. 

Keith stopped looking once he heard crying. Turning around star dust lingered out in the hallway. 

It less back to his room and once he followed he saw it. Lance was curled under the blankets but Keith could see the stars in his eyes as they went tears. 

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone" Lance yelped out once he felt Keith grab his shoulder. 

It was silent for a while until Keith spoke up. 

"Lance could you please talk with me? I want to understand so much but I can't when you want nothing to be learned please Lance tell me " 

Lance grimiced as he felt himself shut off again

 

"I want to tell you that I love you. It feels right but it feels wrong when I can't remember. So Lance please talk with me" Keith placed his hand over Lance's lips to prevent Lance from covering his mouth

 

Lance wished and prayed and those were finally heard. 

"Please love me please you can talk with me"

 

Lance sobbed for a while before he threw his arms over Keith's shoulder bringing them both down on the bed as lance kept crying. Good finally. The freedom to love Keith's soul again. 

But then again

"Lance?"

"Shut up please. Please don't ruin this moment. Please " Keith sucked his breathe in as he looked ahead at the ceiling. The video was clear in his mind

 

"We were soul bonded you know?. All of us. But me and you romantically. And I understand if you don't want that anymore. I can understand if you don't want to be attached to me"

Keith noticed the waver in lance voice as it broke and trembeled. 

" No no Lance listen to me. I want to love you but I want to fall in love with you. I understand that I can say I just met you but please let me have that freedom that everyone has" 

Hearing that it broke Lance but he understood. Taking Keith's hand he kissed it as he felt the bond escape. 

It didn't mean that he could spill anything it just mean he never will be able to with Keith. 

When it happened Keith felt the sudden emptiness and it felt so lonely. 

 

But seeing the star-eyed boy made him want to try more 


	8. Zarkon so I meet you once more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mission didn't go as planned as Zarkon finds them and remembering Lance.

Lance didn't know how he got where he was. 

Standing in front of him was Zarkon. The very man he loathed for hurting such a team like Voltron. For hurting those he wanted to protect forever. 

Behind him was Voltron itself. Hunk was helping Pidge out. She had been struck. Allura was losing control of blue. Voltron wasn't functioning at all. 

So when he could he escaped in a pod away from Coran to help out his friends. His family. Crashing in between the two. 

"You won't get near them" Lance said spreading his arms out his body the only shield. His hands were closing red under his gloves making a powerful heat that Zarkon could feel. 

"If it isn't Voltron it's you. Always getting in my way. Don't tell me you want to protect them when they never cared about you. " Zarkon raised his hand "look at them your a nobody" 

Lance screamed as he balled his hand and swung at Zarkon. Dodging out of the way Zarkon grabbed only Lance's arm and flung him throughout the field. 

"Lance!" Hunk yelped feeling the glare Zarkon gave them. But was quickly distracted when Lance back kicked him and to the side. His eyes flashing anger his cheek swollen blood pouring out of his mouth. 

Allura looked she saw the blood and she began to plead with blue. 

"You think you can defeat me? Please you weren't able to all those years ago" Zarkon kicked Lance aside making him skid across the metal floor. "Your a nobody" 

Lance felt the harsh grab Zarkon had on him under his chin squeezing his neck. Lance gasped harshly as he tried to get the grip off of him. His eyes met Zarkon. 

"If I done it once I can do it once more" 

No. Lance didn't want to live to see the day that they all die again. He couldn't bare to see it not anymore. 

He felt as if he was falling falling once more. His eyes closing. Had he failed again? He couldn't, not once more. 

He had to stay awake to see if they would all make it out. But once he met the cold floor and sunk under it he couldn't be sure. 

Slumber felt like the right thing to do. 

Another few thousand wouldn't hurt right?

 

"Lance!" 

 

No they would. But couldn't for the life of him regain balance as he was being craddled in Keith's arms. Had they survived?

Did they make it?

Why why couldnt he know 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://swampysquid.tumblr.com/)


	9. You gave me hope. That thing can change

Lance woke up back in the infirmary. Except he knew that the pods couldn't fix what he had just went through. Those things work with humans and or living creature. And well he wasn't all to living. Sitting up he knew he'd suffered just minor scratches. 

It was both a blessing and a curse to not hurt so much. But he found it absolutely heart breaking living a life that had no real end to it. 

He looked to his left and saw Keith in a hazzy mood looking at lance as if he wasn't believing his own eyes. "Lance? Oh god your ok. The pods they weren't they hadn't" 

Lance picked his hand off signalling him to stop . "I know it doesn't work. Things don't work the same with me Keith. Sometimes I just. I'm not really" he stopped himself standing up. 

 

"Never mind this is more personal than I intended it to be" he said wobbling a little. He may not be alive but pain was so real. 

"What? Why can't you tell me?" Keith asked running up to Lance to stop him from leaving. 

"Because Keith! I'm no longer bonded with you. We're nothing here and I can't share anything with you. Im, I'm nothing" he whispered out at the very end as he rubbed his hands together. 

"But don't you trust me ?" Keith asked. His eyes were heavy his voice a clear indication that he was completely out of it. 

Lance picked his hands together and bowed "it's time for you to sleep Keith. Just go sleep. " He asked as best as he could. 

"No! I want to know why a bond prevents you from telling me Lance." 

 

"Because Keith! I'm not exactly human!" Lance said pointing to himself. His pointed out ears, the rings with orbiting stars above his head, how clothing, himself. "I won't ever be human Keith. I'm not alive but I'm not dead either. It's something I can't get into unless we share a bond"

 

Lance bit his lip as he looked back to Keith. "Just go to sleep" 


	10. Fall

After the fight Keith and Lance had. Lance couldn't bring himself to ever look Keith in the eyes. He couldn't stand the atmosphere.

Lance was standing listening to orders and how even if it took time he would eventually pilot blue again. Which was great news he knew he could hear her but for now it all was baby steps. 

However he didn't notice when everyone left leaving himself and Keith in the same room. Lance felt himself shake as he started walking. He needed to get out of there. 

But Keith didn't want that as he stood Infront of Lance. "Lance" 

"Move Keith" 

"No not until you can look at me and talk with me again please I want to try this again but I want to try it the right way" Lance frowned as his grip on his arms grew stronger 

"Heh you really are someone different it's like, every time I look at you I can feel your familiar gaze but your someone new" Lance admitted 

"I loved you, I loved you so much" Lance said gritting his teeth. "But your someone new at the same time" 

" I feel different and Lance I can't explain it but if we want to try this again we need to stop this and try we can't not talk with each other anymore" Keith said holding to Lance shoulders 

"What if I don't want to try this again" Lance asked turning to look at Keith. 

"Don't say that! You can't say that!" Keith said gripping harshly at Lance's shoulders as he violently shook him while yelling. But he stopped 

The sudden small glint of fear in lance was not missed. Keith stopped softening his grip 

" You use to do this all the time. Whenever I didn't agree with you on something you would get angry you would hate me in those moments" Lance whispered looking away from Keith. 

"What we had wasn't healthy, I hated you I loved taking everything out on you " Lance admitted finally as his hand came to try and shut him up but instead clawed at him. 

"That isn't me anymore. You said it yourself I'm a new being I can change Lance I will" Keith tried desperately at the sudden tug on him. He couldn't bring to lose Lance his heart wouldn't let him. 

"That's not it" Lance said his gaze was a worried glazed expression "I miss him" 

Something in Keith hurt. Something burned inside himself and it was so hard to submit to it but he couldn't he didn't know who he might have been before but he couldn't hurt Lance like he previously had even if he didn't remember. 

Keith wanted to show Lance how much he would treat him right this time. Leaning in to a kiss wasn't hard. And Lance melted into it. 

Lance might have missed the same being but Keith had a new heart his soul might be the same. But his heart was different. And Lance would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy this kiss above all the others.

His love might have changed but he might have changed for the better. 

Lance loved it so much he wrapped his arms around Keith as he smashed their faced closer deepening the kiss.

Keith loved the feeling the kiss filling a void in him. Then Keith started kissing Lance's cheek his shin his neck. So much raw passion spilling out of him. 

**' change for him'**

Kept chanting in his head as he kept kissing Lance once more. 

**' I can't mess this up again'**

"I love you Keith" Lance said as he went for another kiss

**' do it for him just this once '**


	11. Can you see me?/

_stop it!_

_Keith saw his hands grab tightly onto Lance's shoulders. Lance's face showing purr fear pure hatred for him._

_Stop hurting him_

_But Keith couldn't do anything. His gaze shifted and fogged up hearing the sudden contact his skin had on lance. Lance started crying .His gaze low as he put his hands up to protect himself from the sudden contact_

_Stop it!_

_Stop it_

_Stop it_

_Lance laid on the ground his bruised face was all Keith could see. His bloody hands. Lance's bloody cheeks and nose. Lance sobbed quitely never moving to look at Keith._

_Don't hurt him_

_Keith turned Lance around his face covered in bruises and wounds the small Halo of stars above his head stopped spinning._

 

keith gasped loudy as he looked around his bed. Lance was sitting upright as he looked at Keith. "You saw that didn't you?" He asked in such a gentle tone. 

Keith sat up quickly as he went and hugged the poor star child. He didn't know what that was he just knew he hated it. 

"He was like that a lot. When I hurt him emotionally he hurt me physically and I hate to admit that I miss that idiot"

Keith flinched looking at lance more cleerely. "What? You must be joking"

Lance sighed "I'm not. I miss him. Because that's the only time he would treat me any different. If it wasn't fighting it was sex and if it wasn't those two we couldn't function" 

Keith furrowed his brows. Concern all over him 

"It would make me feel like I was human"

"But you aren't Lance! That's the thing your better than any human you could ever meet. And weather you came from such a toxic place you still are here your still fighting your still someone I love and I don't think I can every stop that feeling I have for you. And maybe before I use to show it in the wrong manner because right now I would never ever lay a finger on you the way I did. But this time I wasn't to show to you that I won't be that way I have many way to prove my love towards you but please don't say you miss that"

 

Lance sighed laying his head on Keith's neck. His gaze shallow, tired, and just dull. But he knew his love was gone. Hopefully this love would be better 

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](https://swampysquid.tumblr.com/)


End file.
